Sickipedia

Swiss lawmakers have urged prosecutors to assess whether gold gifts received by Donald Trump broke the country’s anti-bribery laws. Just as well they're only plastic fixtures from Home Depot sprayed with gold paint, then.

Oh, what a shite! Chilli doner and a pint or three, Brewing away overnight in me, Morning after, what a shite! Oh, what a shite! Hit the khazi first thing the next day, Pebbledashed the porcelain shunky, My poor ringpiece, what a shite! Oh, I, I got a funny feelin' when I tried to fart, And my, as I recall I was lucky not to shart, Oh, what a shite! Got through half a 4-pack of bogroll, Tryin' to decontaminate my hole, Stank the house out, what a shite! I felt a rush like a rollin' ball of thunder, When the ming hit my nostrils I thought I'd fucking chunder, Oh, what a shite! Woke the wife up splattering the bog, Nothing coming out looked like a log, Fizzy gravy, what a shite! etc

Donald Trump receives 400 million dollar plane as a 'gift' from Qatar royal family. Bet that thing's got more bugs than Freddie Mercury's wank sock.

Groundbreaking new HIV treatment requires only a single injection annually. Whereas catching HIV in the first place requires only a single injection anally.

My sister held one of those 'gender reveal' parties when she was pregnant. She popped the balloons, and the glitter was pink. In hindsight she should've gone with blue, as her daughter was stillborn.

In the wake of Charlie Kirk's assassination, I'm sending thoughts and prayers. I thought it was really funny, and I'm praying the Nazi cunt went straight to Hell.

The Indian bloke next door got fed up with my racist jibes, so he invited me round to his family barbecue to 'break down barriers'. I've got to admit, I was pleasantly surprised. Lots of great food, booze, dancing and chat, and then to top it off, the eldest son got down on one knee and proposed to his girlfriend! Kind of put a damper on it though, when she said 'no' and he threw acid in her face.

Dark web dealer who stole unreleased Coldplay music gets suspended sentence. The judge said he'd suffered enough.

A dyslexic bloke wanks into a bra...

How many immature people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Heh heh heh, 'screw'.