Sickipedia

Fuck me, thought I'd logged on to Asda where all they sell is Jewels.

The Louvre was raided with as much ease as the Germans occupied Paris

Have you heard Michael Keaton is returning as Batman? Bruce Wayne puts on the cape and cowl to fight the growing injustice in the retirement home. The Penguin is hogging all the sherbert lemons, two face plans to cheat in the halloween special BINGO game and The Riddler has hidden someone's false teeth in a place only Batman can figure out where. Can Batman bring order before his dementia kicks in? This'll be a night the staff'll wish they called in sick.

Now Andrew is just Mr Windsor, he will find it easy to apply for a job at Pizza Express.

Sue Cook Yes, but most people know her as the host of Crimewatch

Applying for an extras job playing a zombie, I wondered whether to include my CV. Then decided that wouldn't help.

Sarah Ferguson can no longer refer to herself as the Duchess of York. She has to return to her original title, 'The Hampshire Slapper'.

The Grand old duke of York, Gave up his royal title, I'm for one are not surprised, Coz he was a paedophile. And when he was UP he was up, And when it was down he was down, And when Virginia called the cops? He knew he'd lost the crown. (Addendum) And there's this Sicki cunt, Sits all day on his loo, Jerkin off, upvoting scores And he's a paedo too

" £150 to have your dog put down " , said the Vet , " But you'll have to bury it yourself ". " I'll have to kill it myself " I said.

Prince Andrew gives up royal titles including Duke of York after ‘discussion with king’. That's a shame, after he worked so hard for them.