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jimmysammy

Member since 8 years ago

2

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jimmysammy

3 years ago-Jokes With No Home-Random-Post Rating : 48

To whoever lost an iPhone 14 Pro Max outside the train station yesterday, can you please stop calling my new phone?

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jimmysammy

2 years ago-Sex and Shit-Paedophile-Post Rating : 36

A Relationships and Sex Education (RSE) teacher enters the classroom with a banana. He says, "Boys and girls, today I will teach you how to put on a condom. I brought the banana because I can't get an erection on an empty stomach."

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4 years ago-Other-Random-Post Rating : 35

They say that if you rest one of your testicles on the top of an empty beer bottle and heat the base of the bottle with a lighter, the testicle will eventually be sucked inside. If anyone has successfully reversed this process, can you please let me know. It's quite urgent.

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4 years ago-Jokes With No Home-Random-Post Rating : 31

Sure, you can get your wife jewelry or an expensive purse or even an expensive bottle of perfume for Christmas, but she will NEVER forget the Christmas you got her a new mop, NEVER.

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2 years ago-In The News-TV-Post Rating : 30

As the Kardashians celebrate their 20th and final season. I would LOVE to congratulate myself for never watching a single episode.

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jimmysammy

4 years ago-Sex and Shit-Porn-Post Rating : 29

I've never made it to the end of a porno movie. What happens? Do they cuddle and fall asleep?

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5 years ago-Illness and Mortality-Coronavirus-Post Rating : 29

Some people aren't shaking hands because of the Coronavirus. I'm not shaking hands because everyone is out of toilet paper.

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jimmysammy

one year ago-Sex and Shit-Embarassing-Post Rating : 28

I was embarrassed at a "gender reveal" party. After they explained it, I quickly put my underwear back on and left quietly.

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jimmysammy

4 years ago-Jokes With No Home-Random-Post Rating : 28

I finally fixed that annoying noise my car would make when I went too fast. I just opened the door and pushed her out.

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8 months ago-Politics-Anarchist-Post Rating : 26

I went to a bar today and ordered a White Russian. They gave me a picture of Donald Trump.

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