Sickipedia

To whoever lost an iPhone 14 Pro Max outside the train station yesterday, can you please stop calling my new phone?

A Relationships and Sex Education (RSE) teacher enters the classroom with a banana. He says, "Boys and girls, today I will teach you how to put on a condom. I brought the banana because I can't get an erection on an empty stomach."

They say that if you rest one of your testicles on the top of an empty beer bottle and heat the base of the bottle with a lighter, the testicle will eventually be sucked inside. If anyone has successfully reversed this process, can you please let me know. It's quite urgent.

Cars have too many gadgets these days. I was reversing my car and it started playing a video of someone getting run over by a car.

Sure, you can get your wife jewelry or an expensive purse or even an expensive bottle of perfume for Christmas, but she will NEVER forget the Christmas you got her a new mop, NEVER.

As the Kardashians celebrate their 20th and final season. I would LOVE to congratulate myself for never watching a single episode.

I masturbated so good last night that when I woke up this morning, my dick was in the kitchen making me breakfast.

I've never made it to the end of a porno movie. What happens? Do they cuddle and fall asleep?

Some people aren't shaking hands because of the Coronavirus. I'm not shaking hands because everyone is out of toilet paper.

I was embarrassed at a "gender reveal" party. After they explained it, I quickly put my underwear back on and left quietly.