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I've been arrested for "outraging public decency". Note so self: don't masturbate while cleaning the windows of a nursery.
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The vet reported me to the police for animal cruelty, when the cat was finally out of the bag.
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As I woke up in the middle of the night, I screamed as I saw what I thought was a zombie approaching in the dark. Nope - it was just my wife returning from the toilet.
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Pray for me. My drinking problem has become so bad I've had to let the wife drive.
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My wife has trust issues. She refuses to pay the licence fee any more.
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I was leading a kids' dance class. Imagine the horror of all of us when a crazed black youth rushed in and started stabbing everyone. He was singing: "Holl amrantau'r sêr ddywedant Ar hyd y nos..."
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I was fucking a 14-year-old schoolgirl and she screamed. For she had regained consciousness.
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Following this year's Budget, I am now officially leaving the country. Good luck, everyone. Yours, Sgt Pete Kerr, The Royal Yorkshire Regiment
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Little Elsie was a shy girl, but as she continued to practice she began to notice a newfound kind of magic in her dancing performed by but herself alone. Then a crazed black Welsh choirboy ran in with a machete...
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What's brown and sticky? A stick.
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As a measure to prevent spam and reposts, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit.
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Child Exploitation content
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Content designed to intimidate a person or group by any means including, doxxing, murder or injury, rape, harrasment etc.
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