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What do me and the dead black man on the ground below this bridge have in common? We have both pushed each other far enough.
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I know a popular Chinese tongue twister: Led rolly, yerrow rolly, led rolly, yerrow rolly...
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My boss only gave me a warning when he caught me watching child porn at my desk. I love working for the BBC.
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John Lennon's wife was Yoko Ono. My wife is more like Yokozuna.
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What are the most famous last words in 2020? "Allah Hu-Akbar!"
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My best mate knew I would be attending my mother-in-law's funeral (reluctantly) today. Imagine my... surprise when he turned up uninvited dressed as the Grim Reaper.
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I might be about to lose my job as a prison warden, for pushing bananas through inmates' cells' food slots.
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I can't complain about my new flatscreen TV. I bought it from some niggers under a bridge.
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I'm not a massive Star Wars fan but I find my girlfriend bears a resemblance to Princess Leia. That said, my wife bears a resemblance to Jabba the Hutt.
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My wife's been kidnapped by a cannibal tribe in Papua New Guinea. Well, they'll all be well fed for a couple of days.
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