Sickipedia

I like my women like I like my hair. Spiked.

The government has pledged to send vegetables as food aid to the people of Gaza, thus doing its bit for peas in the Middle East. I'll get my coat.

I just read a comment on one of my most recent jokes from someone who was clearly Chinese. "ROR".

Jilly Cooper sat on a wall. (Side note: if this one has already been done with Liam Payne, forgive me.)

At the zoo, I watched on as one chimpanzee killed another one. With a kitchen knife, going "Fuck you, blud, innit."

My family were horrified when I turned up to Granny's funeral wearing a Hawaii shirt and shorts. Turns out they wanted sombre dress, not summer dress. Nod to jeffstelling.

What's the difference between Laurence Graff and Jihad al-Shamie? One's a famous jeweller; the other's a famous Jew killer.

I'm a Labour MP and I don't think Sir Keir Starmer is exactly playing his cards right.

I was reading a list of top Chav girls' names in 2025. One of the top three was Angela.

A good one from Quora: A teacher asks her class, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Little Johnny says "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day". The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. "And you, Susie? " the teacher asks. Susie says "I wanna be Johnny's bitch."