Sickipedia

A new remake of the Wizard of OZ has been made. In the new version Dorothy only meets one companion on the yellow brick road it's Donald Trump who's going to see the wizard to get a heart a brain and the fucking courage to stand up to Russia.

Originally I thought all these women claiming Harrod's ex owner Al-Fayed raped or sexually assaulted them were chancers and gold diggers. Now I'm convinced of his guilt after hearing irrefutable evidence that his name was Mohamed.

The FBI interviewed Mike Score of the band A Flock Of Seagulls for intel on the next plot to assassinate Donald Trump. When asked where it may come from he replied "Iran, Iran so far away" Puts on flasher coat again

Fairy tales for the modern age. Black snow and the seven paralympians Jill Bean and the stalker. Gaydilocks and the 3 buff lumberjacks. Rape-unzel (An Eastern European girl is trafficked and kept as a sex slave in a London tower block) Ali Baba and the 40,000 innocent asylum seekers. Lesborella (Dominated by her ugly straight white step brothers) Lesborella meets a beautiful Princess at a club but has to leave to catch the 10pm train. The princess tracks her down with the aid of the glass Dr Martin Boot she left behind at the club. They marry, adopt several kids and get divorced 2 years later.

Well done the Conservative party for electing Olukemi Olufunto Adegoke as their first black female leader. Hopefully she'll bring back all the racists that voted reform in the last election.

My wife dropped her phone and when she bent over to pick it up she looked up to see Gregg Wallace's grinning face leering at her, obviously he'd been staring at her arse. She says she felt so humiliated and threatened she had to turn over to another channel

I wish I had to pay inheritance tax .

Erwin Schrödinger was an alleged Paedophile. I bet he made up that cat box bullshit to stop someone looking in there and finding a kid.

Fancied a porno wank today used a VPN so I don't have to age verify and the world doesn't know I'm into midget porn and having balloons shoved up my arse. But google hates vpns, by the time I'd identified 24 buses 50 motorbikes and 36 fire hydrants I'd lost the mood completely. Do robots even masturbate?

Senegal the 1st African team to beat an African team in England