Sickipedia

There are only three certainties in life; death, taxes and being told when Happychopper has added a new joke.

Formula One race director, Charlie Whiting has suddenly died age 66. Hmm......sounds a bit fishy.

NASA have landed a Rover on Mars after a 300million mile voyage. Fucking Hell, the one I drove in the 90s barely used to make it to Sainsbury's.

Arsenal's goal difference has more minuses than one of Wasp's fat wife jokes.

BBC Sport: Frampton retires after losing world title fight. Why didn't someone show him the way?

Daily Mail: Pregnant Pakistani woman has two-inch nail hammered into her head. Fucking Hell. There must be an easier way to make a red dot...

Just bought a Grenfell Tower Advent Calendar. Loads of windows but all the fucking chocolates have melted.

Due to the release of Colin Pitchfork, a vigil will be held tonight in honour of his victims. I shall light four candles.

The Guardian: Remains of nine Neanderthals found in a cave south of Rome. Still wearing their Lazio scarfs.

The little raghead and nigglet students of Pimlico Academy walked out yesterday over the school's 'racist' history curriculum, claiming that the focus is on 'White British Kings & Queens'. Had there actually ever been any black ones they may have had a point.