Sickipedia

I sat next to a lad at school called Frank Xerox. He used to copy me.

I've been away for a while and just read the sad news on here. It's a real shame. I loved those Crocodile Dundee films.

Clodagh Rodgers has been found dead. I think someone needs to go back and shake her.

The new raghead at work got up and walked out, telling the boss he was going home early to read his Koran. I thought, 'fair play to him' I wouldn't have taken him for a heavy metal fan.

I've just read that article in the Independent about Pete Doherty and his health scare. I've no idea why they were showing a picture of Peter Bowles.

I've just tried Meghan Markle's raspberry jam. It just tasted of sour grapes to me.

I've received a WhatsApp message from some cunt called Meta AI. I don't know why! I don't even know any fucking Pakis.

Keir Starmer plans to build a huge 'super mosque ' in the beautiful, picturesque Lake District, which has got the locals up in arms. Personally, I'm absolutely fine with it. ...... as long as they build the fucking thing at the bottom of Lake Windermere.

Huge 50ft statue of Sadiq Khan to be built in Greenwich Park. Excellent. It'll give the pigeons something nice to shit on.

Who would dare to kill Richard Chamberlain.