Sickipedia

Top jokes scoring in the teens, down voters and no forum. I remember 2000+ point jokes, great banter and interacting with other users. I haven't posted a joke in a month and when I do it immediately gets down voted. Hats off to the stalwarts still posting (KJT, Wasp (occasional blinder), the Welsh guy and the others. I just can't be arsed until the site offers more and improves. Rant over. Have a great evening.

My first wife died from eating poisonous mushrooms. My second wife died from eating poisonous mushrooms. My third wife died from a cracked skull... ...the bitch wouldn't eat her mushrooms.

My girlfriend and I decided to make a sex video. It's called "The fast and the furious."

I'm not an alcoholic. Alcoholics go to meetings. I'm a drunk. I go to parties.

I often read a joke and think, "What a cunt. That's not funny." Then I press 'Submit'.

"I'm proud of you for going to the Alcoholics Anonymous meeting last night," said my wife. "Ah," I thought, "so that's where I fucking was."

I'm making a roast dinner with my son. How long do you cook a two year old for?

"What are you doing?" asked my wife. "Putting plastic mice on the lawn to keep away elephants." "There's no fucking elephants out there," she snarled. "Of course not," I replied, "I've put the plastic mice out."

I love the build up to Christmas. You can shout, "Don't come in my room..." The stupid cunts think I'm wrapping presents.

I went to visit my wife in hospital and took her flowers. My girlfriend will love them.