Sickipedia

I hope there are Scottish folk here that will understand the slang... Did you hear about the guy who got a sex change mid-air? He came down with a fud.

Proper fed up with all these EDL pricks on here with their Muslim rants without even an attempt to be funny. Mind you, I suppose it's good that they're practicing writing and forming sentences, taking a break from spending every second Allah sends wanking themselves blind fantasising about giving Paul Goulding a rusty trombone.

Little kid has a dad who is a welder. One day he takes his dad's welding mask and gun and goes out to play. Nonce pulls up in his car, offers the lad sweets and asks him if he wants to go for a drive. Boy gets in and off they go. Nonce: "Do you do blow jobs" Boy: "ummm" Nonce: "do you like anal" Boy: "Errrh" Nonce: "How about spit roasts" Boy: "Umm" Nonce: "Howabout teabagging. Do you do that" Boy: "I'm not a real welder you know"

PJ and Drunken

Bob Caustic was the one who gave the monkeys AIDS. Copy and paste that!

What Belinda Carlisle says is true. We want the same things, we dream the same dreams. The cunt just outbid me on eBay again.

Abortion really brings out the child in me.

Your family tree is a cactus. Everyone on it's a prick.

I went to the chemist to buy some condoms. "That'll be £4.50, including tax." "Fuck the tacks, I'll just tie it on!"

I went to the chemist to get some lube. "We don't have any. Have you tried Boots?" I want to glide in, not fucking march in!