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schadenfreude

Member since 7 years ago

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What Belinda Carlisle says is true. We want the same things, we dream the same dreams. The cunt just outbid me on eBay again.

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Abortion really brings out the child in me.

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Your family tree is a cactus. Everyone on it's a prick.

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I went to the chemist to buy some condoms. "That'll be £4.50, including tax." "Fuck the tacks, I'll just tie it on!"

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I went to the chemist to get some lube. "We don't have any. Have you tried Boots?" I want to glide in, not fucking march in!

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schadenfreude

7 years ago-TV-Piracy

Today on Jeremy Kyle: "I eat glass, kill dogs and fuck handfuls of my own shit". From an old fake listing book, Tv Go Home.

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Bob Caustic was the one who gave the monkeys AIDS. Copy and paste that!

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Proper fed up with all these EDL pricks on here with their Muslim rants without even an attempt to be funny. Mind you, I suppose it's good that they're practicing writing and forming sentences, taking a break from spending every second Allah sends wanking themselves blind fantasising about giving Paul Goulding a rusty trombone.

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Why did the baker have dirty fingers? He was kneading a shite.

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The toothbrush was invented in Norfolk. Anywhere else, it would've been called a teethbrush.

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