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What Belinda Carlisle says is true. We want the same things, we dream the same dreams. The cunt just outbid me on eBay again.
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Abortion really brings out the child in me.
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Your family tree is a cactus. Everyone on it's a prick.
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I went to the chemist to buy some condoms. "That'll be £4.50, including tax." "Fuck the tacks, I'll just tie it on!"
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I went to the chemist to get some lube. "We don't have any. Have you tried Boots?" I want to glide in, not fucking march in!
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Today on Jeremy Kyle: "I eat glass, kill dogs and fuck handfuls of my own shit". From an old fake listing book, Tv Go Home.
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Bob Caustic was the one who gave the monkeys AIDS. Copy and paste that!
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Proper fed up with all these EDL pricks on here with their Muslim rants without even an attempt to be funny. Mind you, I suppose it's good that they're practicing writing and forming sentences, taking a break from spending every second Allah sends wanking themselves blind fantasising about giving Paul Goulding a rusty trombone.
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Why did the baker have dirty fingers? He was kneading a shite.
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The toothbrush was invented in Norfolk. Anywhere else, it would've been called a teethbrush.
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Guidelines, Information and Rules
Hi! To ensure that this is a great place for everyone to have a wondeful time, we have some rules. Breaking them might result in a suspension or permanent ban from the site.
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Jokes must be in text format, no emojis or linking allowed.
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As a measure to prevent spam and reposts, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit.
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If you post a NSFW image as meme, it must be tagged as NSFW.
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Do not repost from all time top list.
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Metaposts are not allowed. If you've something to ask then please go to forum.
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No posting personal information.
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Reposts and duplicate jokes are not allowed.
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Photographs, gifs and videos depicting nudity, sexual poses or acts, if censored
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Child Exploitation content
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As a measure to prevent spam, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit
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Content designed to intimidate a person or group by any means including, doxxing, murder or injury, rape, harrasment etc.
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Meta posts are not allowed, however you can contact admin or a moderator.
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Promoting false information
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