Sickipedia

A dumb white guy's in a pub toilet having a piss next to a black guy... "So how do all you lot get cocks like that?" The black guy decides to take the piss, "We'll, when we're young, our mothers tie a cord to it and hang rocks off it." White guy buys it, and runs up the road to try it out. Few weeks later, they both end up in the toilet together again... "I tried the trick with the cord a rocks!" "Really? How's that working out for you?" "Brilliant! Look! It's turned black already!"

What's red and wrapped in newspaper? Abortion of chips.

What's got 99 balls and fucks old women? Bingo.

As the sperm dripped down my wife's chin, I looked in her eyes and asked "Do you like that? " "No", she relied. " What the fuck is in this sandwich? "

Just got Jim Bowen's autobiography. It was so good I read it IIIINNNN ONE!

What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I've never paid £50 to have a lentil on me.

I hope there are Scottish folk here that will understand the slang... Did you hear about the guy who got a sex change mid-air? He came down with a fud.

PJ and Drunken

How to torture a Jew - Free ham.

Little kid has a dad who is a welder. One day he takes his dad's welding mask and gun and goes out to play. Nonce pulls up in his car, offers the lad sweets and asks him if he wants to go for a drive. Boy gets in and off they go. Nonce: "Do you do blow jobs" Boy: "ummm" Nonce: "do you like anal" Boy: "Errrh" Nonce: "How about spit roasts" Boy: "Umm" Nonce: "Howabout teabagging. Do you do that" Boy: "I'm not a real welder you know"