Sickipedia

Because of the metric system, do European porn stars boast about having a 30cm cock?

And low, Jesus did speak, "To celebrate my return to life..... erm....... Eat chocolate till you feel sick", and the amassed crowd did asketh, "Pray tell oh lord, what KIND of chocolate should we gorge ourselves upon?", to which Jesus replied "Pretty painted egg shaped ones....... from a RABBIT..... WHO'S CARRYING THEM IN A BASKET !!". It was then that the people did know that the lords LSD had finally kicked off, and they were in for one epically wild night....... Amen.

Dear Mr Starmer, When we said we needed help making our money go further, we meant we wanted you to cap energy prices, we DIDN'T mean that we wanted you to make our money go further by sending it all the way to Ukraine. Yours sincerely, The British public.

Female logic - "The rooms in our home look bleak and empty. I need to buy loads of pointless ornamental crap, then cover every horizontal surface I can find with it". Also female logic - "Oh? You've had a bad day at work? Big deal ! I've had to slog and slave all day dusting and cleaning all the pointless ornamental crap in every room of the house". Also ALSO female logic - "No, the things we both use multiple times every single day have to live hidden away in cupboards and draws, because there's not enough room for all of them to stay where they're used on the work tops because THAT'S where all our pointless ornamental crap has to be".

What's a 6.9?.............. A good thing ruined by a period.

I was going to spend two months backpacking around Kenya, but came back home after I got chased by a large mob of screaming black guys who were all waving machetes at me. I barely got away with my life. The most concerning part is that this happened in London before I'd even got on my flight.

This current Doctor Who being Black isn't very realistic is it. I mean, how can he be a lord of all time when there's a three and a half hundred year "No go" period when he'd get lynched as soon as he was seen out in public without an owner ?

Anyone else remember Red Adair. He owned a fire fighting company that pioneered an inspired technique to extinguishing burning oil wells by setting off a huge explosion directly above it. Counterintuitively, the explosion would use up all the available oxygen from around the burning well, and it would go out. Anyway. If I ever found Keir Starmer on fire, I think that would be the technique I'd use to extinguish him.

If only Prince Andrew had done his own laundry he might have avoided all this trouble. Right on the box of pretty much every brand of laundry pods is the important advice........... "Keep away from children".

There is ONE positive to having such a diverse multicultural population here in London. It makes life a lot more interesting, and it can make life pretty exciting too being immersed in so many different cultures........ If only it didn't also make life significantly more likely to end prematurely in a violent mugging it would be perfect.