Sickipedia

As a straight, white, Englishman, it now seems I'm being branded as racist, s*xist, and homophobic, just because I'm not actively tried to find some black African lesb!an to arse fist me, while I hand her money and apologise for being born straight, white, and in England ! :(

And low, Jesus did speak, "To celebrate my return to life..... erm....... Eat chocolate till you feel sick", and the amassed crowd did asketh, "Pray tell oh lord, what KIND of chocolate should we gorge ourselves upon?", to which Jesus replied "Pretty painted egg shaped ones....... from a RABBIT..... WHO'S CARRYING THEM IN A BASKET !!". It was then that the people did know that the lords LSD had finally kicked off, and they were in for one epically wild night....... Amen.

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack got brainwashed to cut off his dick. It's the teacher who caused it, she's mentally ill, She confused poor young Jack ,to think he was Jill. Jill be nimble, Jill be quick, She's 17 now, and she's missing her prick. She's full of regret, about the way she was led, as she cries in the bath, wrists slit, water red. Jack is long gone. Jill is now dead, That cunt of a teacher, who fucked with his head, won't even be thinking, about what they did, They're too busy fucking, up the next kid.

Many predators can smell blood from a considerable distance, but unlike most, Prince Andrew then thinks "Damn, she's too old for me" and goes sniffing elsewhere.

Black Africans are demanding reparations for past events. Paying this would bankrupt most countries. Also, black criminals cost's the tax payers millions each year for policing, investigation, NHS care, and increased property insurance costs. I think I've come up with a solution to both these problems.......... Revoke black human rights and reintroduce slavery. Once captured, you'd need to castrate the men to calm them down, and sterilise the women so they don't keep taking time away from their duties to drop yet another litter of sprogs, but capturing slaves would give employment and much needed money to working class "Slavers", and provide cheap labour for the dangerous/menial jobs that are beneath being done by the more civilised white folk. Because of the castration, blacks would become a rarer and rarer commodity, so eventually we might need to go further a field to source replacements, thus financially stimulating the ship building industry, therefore creating even MORE jobs for the working class. And most importantly, Blacks would become property rather than people, and property have no rights with regards to claiming compensation for what IT'S owner did, or does, to it. It all seems so obvious, I don't know why no one thought of it before.

After the divorce I was left with nothing, so I decided to end it all. I stole an dingy in Folkstone, and paddled it as far as I could into the English channel, hoping that I'd get sunk and killed by one of the huge ships that pass there. After hours of paddling I was done. I just laid down in the boat and waited for death. I must have fell asleep, because hours later I'd washed back up on the shores of Folkstone. I was dejected, and borderline hypothermic. I could feel my mental state worsen by the minute. I'd become a jibbering wreck... Then some guy's in uniforms gently lifted me out of the boat, and carried me to a mini bus. They gave me coffee and a blanket, then started talking to me. I was too far gone to really understand what they were saying though. TBH, I was sobbing like a child and couldn't really get any actual words out. Anyway, that evening they brought me to this hotel, and I’ve been here for 3 weeks now. It turns out that they've organised a free furnished council flat and spending money for me too, so I should be getting the keys to that in the next few days ! And to think, I used to say the British government didn't give a shit about it's citizens !

As a vegan who owns the new iPhone, I'd just like to let everybody know................ That's all. I just want everyone to know I'm a vegan, and I own the new iPhone.

Kurt Zouma should have just said "That cat called me a ni**er". This current bunch of lefty liberal twats would now be brow beating the pope to give him a fuckin' sainthood for being so quick to stand up against oppression.

Because of the metric system, do European porn stars boast about having a 30cm cock?

Dear Mr Starmer, When we said we needed help making our money go further, we meant we wanted you to cap energy prices, we DIDN'T mean that we wanted you to make our money go further by sending it all the way to Ukraine. Yours sincerely, The British public.