Sickipedia

King Charles charges the cash-strapped NHS £11.4 million to store its ambulances on his land. All that because he had to go private.

Alzheimer's drug, hailed as a breakthrough, could triple the risk of dying. Win-win.

In China, you get the death penalty if you don't own up to having the CoronaVirus. It's a lose lose situation.

Musician, 20, who played at Harry and Meghan's wedding, becomes the UK's highest-charting cellist of all time. That's a high bar.

I'm neighbours of Harry and Meghan's at Frogmore House. I was issued with a 'dos and don'ts list', which bans me from talking to the royals, asking to see Archie or petting their dogs. I'm loving all of these Amazon parcels.

Captain Tom was very pleased to be promoted to colonel on his 100th birthday. Until he was deployed to Afganistan.

ME: Dial 999. Police, please POLICE: Police ME: Hi. Two hooded men are robbing my shed. POLICE: Sorry, we have no resources. There's nothing we can do. ME: They are standing less than 1 metre apart. POLICE: Keep them there - we'll be there in 5.

French marathon runner Morhad Amdouni deliberately KNOCKS OVER water bottles so his rivals can't drink. A mussi frog. I'm surprised he didn't piss in them.

It must be summer. The Police have found another clue to solving the Madeleine McCann case and need to visit the Algarve

Prince accuses music industry of trying to ram Katy Perry and Ed Sheeran down our throats. I know what I would ram down their throats.