Sickipedia

Airlines say fatties have to buy two seats now, after a photo of a man struggling to fit into his seat was shared online. Great. Now the cunt gets two meals.

Sarah Ferguson can no longer refer to herself as the Duchess of York. She has to return to her original title, 'The Hampshire Slapper'.

Elon Musk bans rainbow flags from American classrooms. That is a bad business move. Most Tesla owners are benders.

Burglar disguised as a firefighter arrested for looting homes destroyed in LA fires. Rachel Reeves disguised as a Chancellor, and yet no one does fuck all

Prince Andrew told Virginia Giuffre, "My daughters are a little younger than you are", before having sex. "So I expect you to be more experienced", he added.

Taliban cuts off internet to prevent immorality - leaving Afghanistan cut off from the world. Gives them more time to fuck their 6-year-old wives.

I was buying my 4th house, and before I paid my property tax, I asked if the Rayner deal was still available. The bloke said, I'll ask you a few questions and we'll see if you qualify.... "Have you created trust funds for all your children to reduce your tax? Is everything in your Wife's name? Do you have a bank account in a tax-free haven?" Yes, yes and yes, I replied. Thank you, sir - nothing to pay today.

Trump taking over Gaza. The three new golf courses will have some interesting bunkers.

Nvidia shares dropped faster than Wayne Rooney's pants in a care home.

Sadiq Khan brands Trump 'Islamophobic' after the US President trashed his 'terrible' record at the UN and claimed capital risks 'Sharia law'. Khan says Trump should receive 60 lashes of the whip.