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opus

Member since 7 years ago

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opus

6 years ago-Other-Family-Post Rating : 18

'Let me down, let me down,' laughed my son as I ran around with him on my shoulders. So I left the next day and haven't been back.

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opus

6 years ago-Other-Wordplay-Post Rating : 16

The mafia forced my brother to go on a creative writing course. They made him an author, he couldn't refuse.

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7 years ago-Racism-Pakistani-Post Rating : 16

Western tourists are advised against using a rape alarm in Pakistan. It has the same effect as an ice cream truck outside an American school.

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6 years ago-Other-Wordplay-Post Rating : 14

I took my dog to the vet because he was losing hair on his head. Apparently he's got male patting baldness.

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6 years ago-Sex and Shit-Paedophile-Post Rating : 14

I remember sitting watching 'The Lion King' with a lump in my throat when I was six. My uncle went to prison soon after.

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7 years ago-Racism-Equality-Post Rating : 14

The 'Make Racism History' movement has done a fantastic job. History is now incredibly racist.

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6 years ago-Crime-Murder-Post Rating : 13

I suffer from restless leg syndrome. They went out again last night and killed another prostitute.

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7 years ago-TV-Film/Movie-Post Rating : 13

I watched that 'Zulu' film the other day. There were more famous actors than you could shake a stick at.

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7 years ago-Illness and Mortality-Death-Post Rating : 12

The singer for the band Steppenwolf has been decapitated in a motorbike accident. They found his head out on the highway.

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6 years ago-Other-Animals-Post Rating : 10

Behold! One of the most basic insect wrestling moves.

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