Sickipedia

The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. But my favourite was when he made the coin disappear then pulled it out the man's ear.

I always try to be politically correct. Except I go by the politics of South Africa in the 1980's.

I watched that 'Zulu' film the other day. There were more famous actors than you could shake a stick at.

I've got my first kick boxing class tonight. Hopefully I'll be able to quit boxing for good this time.

Please consider donating to my kickstarter fund. I want to start kicking people.

Who said Jesus didn't perform miracles? He found mates called Matthew, Mark, Luke and John just hanging about in The Middle East.

"I'm expecting a baby," my wife announced, as we were sitting having dinner. "I'll go and open the front door," I said. "It'll never reach the doorbell."

I've got tinnitus. Trouble is I had it last night as well.

I've always hated 'Nirvana'. But not as much as Kurt Cobain did.

"I've got some good news and I've got some bad news," I told my wife. "Haha, I thought you said 'Jews' just then," she laughed. "That's ridiculous," I said. "Why would there be good Jews?"