Sickipedia

I suffer from restless leg syndrome. They went out again last night and killed another prostitute.

'Let me down, let me down,' laughed my son as I ran around with him on my shoulders. So I left the next day and haven't been back.

My new girlfriend dragged me to see 'The Barber Of Seville'. Load of shite. The barber of Jimmy Savile was better.

My great grandfather was responsible for making The Titanic sink. He also made a bath and two toilets.

There comes a time in every woman's life when she needs a little help from a plastic surgeon. But, if you're going to let your hijab slip, you're going to get a face full of acid.

Christopher Lloyd was not happy with the steaks I bought for him. So tomorrow, he's sending me back to the butcher.

"Go back to your own country!" I shouted. "You don't belong here!" I yelled. "Go home to Africa!" I added. But they just sat there with no emotion on their stupid monkey looking faces. I hate seeing gorillas locked up in the zoo.

There were some amazing scenes in Liverpool last night. I went to see that new 'Avengers' film.

Some of Madonna's songs sound a bit like Cher. 'Cherish' for example.

My favourite film is 'Runaway Jury'. I won't spoil it and tell you if Ray escapes the nazis.