Sickipedia

A lot of people were complaining that there was a woman breastfeeding in public, so I had no choice but to stand up for her. I couldn't get a good view sitting down.

Just remember, if you ever feel depressed and want to die, you're not alone. There's probably others that also want you to die.

My most nostalgic job was working at a strip club. So many wonderful mammaries.

Elon Musk paid over 40 Billion dollars to buy twitter. What an idiot, I got mine for free on the App Store!

My work recently upgraded their systems and my manager wants me to be tech support for it. Which I found incredibly odd considering I don't even have an Indian accent.

I got an email saying that there were charges of £550 from my bank account and to give my information to put that money back on my card. My friend said it was a scam. I checked my bank account and had neither outstanding nor pending charges. That means I'll be making a profit of £550! So who's getting scammed now?

Stayed at a hotel that offered a morning meal. Was delicious but I pissed and shit my pants hours later without realizing. Last time I ever sign up for an incontinental breakfast.

The Psychiatrist comes in the room, "Your test results are back." "Oh, God," I said. "It turns out you have Generalized Anxiety Disorder." "Oh, GAD." I said.

Just learned from a colleague that Seasame Street characters like Elmo have their own official Instagram/social media pages. Now how the fuck can I find Miss Piggy's OnlyFans?

Rather than insult others, I make jokes aimed at myself. I have over 200 jokes about shitting my pants. I'm the master of self-defecating humour.