Sickipedia

Is Schrodinger REALLY dead?

My most nostalgic job was working at a strip club. So many wonderful mammaries.

Elon Musk paid over 40 Billion dollars to buy twitter. What an idiot, I got mine for free on the App Store!

My work recently upgraded their systems and my manager wants me to be tech support for it. Which I found incredibly odd considering I don't even have an Indian accent.

I got an email saying that there were charges of £550 from my bank account and to give my information to put that money back on my card. My friend said it was a scam. I checked my bank account and had neither outstanding nor pending charges. That means I'll be making a profit of £550! So who's getting scammed now?

Stayed at a hotel that offered a morning meal. Was delicious but I pissed and shit my pants hours later without realizing. Last time I ever sign up for an incontinental breakfast.

The Psychiatrist comes in the room, "Your test results are back." "Oh, God," I said. "It turns out you have Generalized Anxiety Disorder." "Oh, GAD." I said.

Just learned from a colleague that Seasame Street characters like Elmo have their own official Instagram/social media pages. Now how the fuck can I find Miss Piggy's OnlyFans?

Rather than insult others, I make jokes aimed at myself. I have over 200 jokes about shitting my pants. I'm the master of self-defecating humour.

Started playing Call of Duty and it's been an eye opening experience. My mom was a fucking slut!