Sickipedia

Some days millionaires eat lobster for dinner. Some days it's the other way around.

'Mayhem' at protests has frightened communities, says policing minister. As opposed to the niggers stabbing little girls to death and the pakis blowing them to smithereens which hasn't concerned anyone at all.

Girl, 11, and woman, 34, stabbed in Leicester Square. Police have asked people not to speculate about the ethnicity of the Romanian that did it, nor to upload any footage of the immigrant on social media.

On the 80th anniversary of D-Day we remember all those brave British men we lost on the beaches of Europe. Michael Mosley for example.

Good to see the return of Huw Edwards to News at Ten.

BBC News: Woman found dead in car boot named by police. I'm guessing they named her Jill, because there was already a jack in there.

Young Welsh couple murdered in a village near Cardigan Bay. A police spokesman said this is the last thing you'd expect in such a close-knit community.

Musician Sheku Kanneh-Mason has said Rule, Britannia! "makes people feel uncomfortable" and should not be sung at the Last Night of the Proms. Well if it's just a question of what makes people uncomfortable I reckon we should replace it with "Send the Buggers Back".

When doing dry January it's important to find ways to replace alcohol in your life. For example, I've replaced drinking with severe boredom, crippling depression and existential dread.

Why's everyone so excited about King Charles being on the new bank notes? Most of them have had Charlie on them since the 1980s.