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masterbates

Member since 3 years ago

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masterbates

3 years ago-Wordplay-Post Rating : -3

Sold!

Sold!

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Robbie Coltrane collapses and dies of a heart attack. Headlines tomorrow: 'Cracker Dropped''

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masterbates

3 years ago-Sex and Shit-Porn-Post Rating : 13

Miss Argentina and Miss Puerto Rico reveal they've married in secret. See? Porn IS realistic.

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masterbates

3 years ago-Politics-Nazis-Post Rating : 9

Berlin climate protesters have been condemned for causing the death of a cyclist. Or to put it another way: Germans kill innocent person by not using gas.

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masterbates

3 years ago-Events-Guy Fawkes Night-Post Rating : -1

For Bonfire Night I gave my family a special treat. I took them all to Ukraine's eastern front.

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3 years ago-Sex and Shit-Fisting-Post Rating : -1

If to be forewarned is to be forearmed then Quinten must be able to predict anything. After all he's been forearmed more than Julian Clary, Boy George and Alan Carr put together, oooooooooooh.

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3 years ago-In The News-Climate Change-Post Rating : 12

In honour of COP27 I'd like to point out that cycling doesn't help prevent climate change at all. Just think how much carbon is emitted from all the cremations after they inevitably get hit by buses.

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3 years ago-Other-Shopping-Post Rating : 10

Whenever I pop to the supermarket for a few items I still get a basket in case there are reduced items. That way I can twat the other shoppers out of the way with it and get all the best stuff for myself.

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Leslie Phillips gets to the pearly gates but they're closed. Ding dong!

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3 years ago-Grave-Post Rating : -1

I was more surprised they were still alive

I was more surprised they were still alive

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