Sickipedia

Why did Michael Caine take a shit behind the elephant house? Because he couldn't face another zoo loo.

"Nurse shares 7 biggest regrets cancer patients have" Without reading the article I'm guessing it's: - Smoking - Drinking - Being a fat fuck - Never eating fruit - Working down the asbestos mine - Not paying for health insurance - Being a cunt so nobody wants to chip in to your fundraiser for treatment

Life is a lot like a funfair. It's just missing the first 'f'.

Joe Biden diagnosed with prostate cancer. He went to the doctor after a 4 year old told him his spunk tasted weird.

I'm watching M. Night Shyamalan's The Happening and it's ridiculous, it could never happen. Mark Wahlberg teaching Biology? Please.

Happy International Beaver Day! I'll take the Swedish and the Thai ones. You lot can have the pakis and the niggers.

Val Kilmer, famous for Tombstone...

Malaysian government greenlights new search for MH370. I may like my Kimchi pickled but even I wouldn't want to see what those stewardesses look like after 11 years soaking in brine.

I was on a date and I told her I'm a First Responder. She said wow you work in the emergency services? I said no, when someone puts a racist joke on sickipedia I'm the first to respond with "haha yeah fuck those niggers!"

These dating apps are all fine and dandy but I like to meet women the old-fashioned way. I club them over the head and drag them back to my cave.