Sickipedia

Had to go and pick up my daughter from the police station earlier and I've never been so embarrassed in my entire life. "Jesus Sophie, what are the neighbours going to think?" "Sorry dad." "Sorry isn't going to cut it young lady. What have I said about changing out of your uniform when you finish your shift for fucks sake!"

Ellen DeGeneres: I moved to the UK because of Trump Funnily enough, I'm moving to the US because of Ellen DeGeneres

I didn't believe this girl when she told me she played guitar for a Monkees tribute band. The I saw her bass...

My wife was fast asleep on the plane within minutes of it taking off. Waste of fucking money that sight seeing tour of the Grand Canyon was.

Judge throws out lawsuit over Nirvana’s album art featuring naked baby Oh well... Nevermind

An antisocial swan has been removed from the river Avon. Surprise, surprise... it was a black swan.

I just watched Superman with Henry Cavill. "I'll be honest mate. I preferred your version," I told him.

Met Police confirmed that live facial recognition (LFR) technology was not used by police at the Unite the Kingdom rally in London on Saturday. No point when they all look the same.

With the tragic news of Brent Hinds death there are now only three mastodon's left in the world.

Former world snooker champion Graeme Dott is to stand trial charged with child sex abuse. Sounds like he was attempting a screw on the tight pink.