Sickipedia

Following the purchase of Wordle by the New York Times, the owners have announced they will be releasing a new two letter version of the word game so that Trump supporters can play too.

Labour MP Rosie Duffield came under fire after supporting online criticism of a tweet, which referred to "individuals with a cervix" to be inclusive of trans men rather than just women. The incident was called transphobic by trans rights supporters. It's official... we're all now living in a Monty Python movie.

I've got a lovely treat lined up for my girlfriend's birthday later. I'm going to wash my cock.

Rape victims. Avoid unnecessary discomfort by graciously accepting the offer of lubricant rather than persisting with the undignified sobbing.

French president Macron has been slapped in the face by a man shouting "Montjoie Saint Denis!", the battle cry of the French army. This is astonishing news. The French army have a battle cry?

I never forgot the time when the physics teacher totally humiliated me in front of the whole class about my lack of scientific knowledge. I spent years studying and understanding physical laws like force equals mass times exceleration so I could make him eat his words, and today I finally got even. I ran the cunt over on a pedestrian crossing.

This evil bitch is the mother convicted of the murder of toddler Star Hobson

Following on from actor Eddie Redmayne's apology for playing a transgender character in 2015 film The Danish Girl, a role which many weak minded woke cunts believe should have gone to a genuine transgender actor, I would also like to apologise for my portrayal of the Innkeeper in my primary school nativity play circa 1969. Clearly I was neither a native of Jerusalem nor did I hold any kind of license to serve alcohol.

Got home from work early and found the wife in bed with my best mate. "Surprise!" She shouts, "I know you've always fantasized about a threesome! " "I meant with another girl you stupid cow!" I shook my head. "Now poor Dave's wasted his time coming all this way! Sorry about this mate... Put your clothes back on and I'll give you a lift home."

The restaurant chain Hooters is preparing to file for bankruptcy. I know they've always had their knockers, but I never expected them to go tits up.