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I always pay for things using tactless. Do you mean contactless? No I pay cash and tell them they're ugly.
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Anyone need any roofies for this weekend? Strong Polish ones. We do slate, bitumen and also guttering.
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Looks like the Queen's got one foot in the mausoleum.
6 people reacted
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If transexuals are women too, why aren't lesbians attracted to them? "They're too effeminate." a spokesdyke said.
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A muslim guy came towards me brandishing a knife and yelling in arabic so without hesitating I booted him in the balls. Then I realised he was just using a really thin phone on loudspeaker.
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Just fired a mohel. Typical Jew - he wanted severance pay.
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When I heard my wife was being burned as a witch my first thought was "I'll savour!"
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I got a VW camper, installed a kick ass stereo and stocked it with drink, drugs and hot women. Not even Ryan Reynolds could make this van wilder.
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It's Halloween and I just watched Ghostbusters with Melissa McCarthy, it's terrifying! This is what passes for comedy these days?
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I'm playing my music loud this morning, my neighbour loves it. He keeps banging on the wall requesting Sunday Bloody Sunday.
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As a measure to prevent spam and reposts, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit.
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Photographs, gifs and videos depicting nudity, sexual poses or acts, if censored
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Child Exploitation content
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As a measure to prevent spam, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit
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