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tapeworm

Member since 4 years ago

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tapeworm

4 years ago-Sex and Shit-Ugly-Post Rating : 8

I always pay for things using tactless. Do you mean contactless? No I pay cash and tell them they're ugly.

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tapeworm

4 years ago-Other-Misunderstanding-Post Rating : 17

Anyone need any roofies for this weekend? Strong Polish ones. We do slate, bitumen and also guttering.

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tapeworm

4 years ago-Celebrities-The Royal Family-Post Rating : 6

Looks like the Queen's got one foot in the mausoleum.

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tapeworm

4 years ago-Sex and Shit-Transvestite-Post Rating : 15

If transexuals are women too, why aren't lesbians attracted to them? "They're too effeminate." a spokesdyke said.

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tapeworm

4 years ago-Racism-Muslim-Post Rating : 4

A muslim guy came towards me brandishing a knife and yelling in arabic so without hesitating I booted him in the balls. Then I realised he was just using a really thin phone on loudspeaker.

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tapeworm

4 years ago-Illness and Mortality-Amputation-Post Rating : 4

Just fired a mohel. Typical Jew - he wanted severance pay.

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tapeworm

4 years ago-Illness and Mortality-Cannibalism-Post Rating : 3

When I heard my wife was being burned as a witch my first thought was "I'll savour!"

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tapeworm

4 years ago-Other-Wordplay-Post Rating : 4

I got a VW camper, installed a kick ass stereo and stocked it with drink, drugs and hot women. Not even Ryan Reynolds could make this van wilder.

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tapeworm

4 years ago-Events-Halloween-Post Rating : 14

It's Halloween and I just watched Ghostbusters with Melissa McCarthy, it's terrifying! This is what passes for comedy these days?

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tapeworm

4 years ago-Other-Misunderstanding-Post Rating : 13

I'm playing my music loud this morning, my neighbour loves it. He keeps banging on the wall requesting Sunday Bloody Sunday.

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