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Dont Let The Bottom Fall Out Of Your World.Have A Vindaloo And Let The World Fall Out Of Your Bottom.
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I went to see the local priest today. I asked him to say a prayer for my ill mother-in-law. Apparently, they only do that if you want them to get better.
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Keir Starmer, "We all stand with the people of Liverpool." The last time I stood with the people of Liverpool I lost my fucking wallet.
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I always thought my gran had really bad piles because of the way she walks. Turns out she just loves anal.
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I use to love my grans homemade bread. Then she told me where she got the yeast from.
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I stand firm with Israel. War always give me an erection.
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What did one Muslim say to another Muslim? I don't know, I don't speak the language. But I reckon it was something to do with fucking goats, though.
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If you want to smack your kids, but not leave a mark. I find a good quality oven glove works best.
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I nearly ended up having unprotected sex last night. But, I remembered at the last second. To turn off the baby monitor.
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My wife rang me. I said, "I don't get a fucking minutes piece. I'm right in the middle of having a shit." She said, "Sorry, how was I supposed to know you're on the toilet?" I said, "I'm not, I'm in the bath."
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