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stallion

Member since 8 years ago

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About Me

I wander around the Scottish Highlands with my dog and drink whisky.

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Scotland

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scotty

member since 8 years ago

stallion

one month ago-Other-Animals-Post Rating : 36

Using only a .22 pistol I survived a grizzly bear attack. My friend, who I shot in the knee, wasn't so lucky.

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one year ago-Other-Thoughts-Post Rating : 35

Whenever I see my wife and her sister together I wonder where Cinderella is.

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7 months ago-Other-Wordplay-Post Rating : 34

Loads of non binary people have gone prospecting. They've heard that there's gold in them/their hills.

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4 months ago-Other-Stupid-Post Rating : 31

For the next month I'll be wearing pink to raise awareness for people who don't bother to separate laundry.

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5 months ago-Racism-All Races-Post Rating : 26

Do you know what separates us from the animals? The English Channel.

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11 months ago-Crime-Violence-Post Rating : 26

A burglar broke into my house. I knocked the shit out of him and tied him up. "I suppose you're going to call the police now," he said. "Why?" I smiled, "Nobody knows you're here."

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6 months ago-Wordplay-Wordplay-Post Rating : 25

A transgender person tried to tell me a joke. "Knock, knock." "Who's there/they're/their?," I asked.

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8 months ago-Other-Animals-Post Rating : 24

Having pets has made my daughter learn about old age and death. My Rottweiler killed her granny.

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9 months ago-Crime-Domestic Violence-Post Rating : 24

My son has the same colour eyes as my wife. Neither of them has learnt to duck when they piss me off.

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6 months ago-Racism-Black-Post Rating : 23

I asked some African Americans what material I should use to make Black Lives Matters t-shirts. They picked cotton.

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