Sickipedia

Singer Ian Watkins dies in prison attack. Sources have said it was karaoke night and the other prisoners didn't appreciate his version of the Motown classic 'Baby Love'.

Went to a Roman themed stripper party. Veni, vidi, veni.

Pompous prick at work keeps telling me all about the pope and how he knows more him than anyone. Pontificating arsehole.

Peace talks between Pakistan & India leaked. "Fuck you, bastard bitch!" "Fuck you! Bloody bloody!" If no peace happens soon, UK's corner shops may not get any knock off fags for at least a week and a half.

The meaning of life is simply a difference of angles. 'Let The Bodies Hit The Floor' and 'It's Raining Men' are a good example.

Bellend76 just posted 'In the 90s had a crush on I Know What You Did Last Summer's Jennifer Love Hewitt. Now she looks like she'd crush me' I know what you mean mate, I met my ex at a fancy dress party where she was dressed as a sexy werewolf. The way she looks now it wouldn't surprise me if every full moon she turned into a warehouse.

War between India and Pakistan looks likely. That's going to be the smelliest fucking battlefield in history.

Just saw online that the world's oldest woman has died today at 116 of 'natural causes'. Not sure I'd describe what Big John and I did to her as natural.

My uncle used to say, "Fuck them if they can't can't take a joke" Judging from what they said in court, his kids clearly couldn't take a joke.

My ex-wife told my son she is thinking of getting a tattoo and is looking for ideas. Just had an angry text asking why I told him to say 'Dad says get one on your upper thigh that says, 'Abandon hope all ye who enter here'