Sickipedia

My ex-wife told my son she is thinking of getting a tattoo and is looking for ideas. Just had an angry text asking why I told him to say 'Dad says get one on your upper thigh that says, 'Abandon hope all ye who enter here'

Singer Ian Watkins dies in prison attack. Sources have said it was karaoke night and the other prisoners didn't appreciate his version of the Motown classic 'Baby Love'.

"Are you using butter? You'll turn fucking gay. Milk too, plus it turns your stomach to shit. And cheese? It can fuck off too". "Excuse my friend, he's lactose intolerant".

The meaning of life is simply a difference of angles. 'Let The Bodies Hit The Floor' and 'It's Raining Men' are a good example.

Trump has problems with his veins apparently. It started when he used the long one on Stormy Daniels.

Bellend76 just posted 'In the 90s had a crush on I Know What You Did Last Summer's Jennifer Love Hewitt. Now she looks like she'd crush me' I know what you mean mate, I met my ex at a fancy dress party where she was dressed as a sexy werewolf. The way she looks now it wouldn't surprise me if every full moon she turned into a warehouse.

Just heard about the government's idiotic, 'one in, one out' rule. The public want to limit immigration and these fuckers are doing the hokey cokey?

My uncle used to say, "Fuck them if they can't can't take a joke" Judging from what they said in court, his kids clearly couldn't take a joke.

Went to a Roman themed stripper party. Veni, vidi, veni.

Having just watched the series Piecemaker with my mate, he was quite confused that the main character wasn't a woman. He's from Scotland.