Sickipedia

In the next 8 weeks 85% of blondes will disappear off the face of the earth.

I witnessed absolutely disgusting behavior on Worthing beach yesterday :( Saw a man and woman having an almighty argument in front of a load of kids. Suddenly the woman smacked the guy on the head and it all kicked off. There was a massive brawl and someone called the police. This poor copper turned up on his own and took out his baton to the man. The guy managed to snatch it off him and began to assault the copper and his wife. Then, out of nowhere, a crocodile crept up and stole all the sausages..........

My wife told me she “wants me to move out and have a divorce because of my obsession with Only fools and horses “ I said” I will get the suitcase from the van”

I went for a Chinese last night and got chatting to the waiter. He said during the war he was a Kamikaze pilot and his code name was "Chow Mein" I said correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Kamikaze pilots sacrifice their own lives??!!? Yes he said, but I was a Chicken Chow Mein

Spanish Police have raised concerns that Tottenham fans may take flares into the stadium on 21st May for their match against Manchester UTD Because that's what they wore last time they were in a European Final

For sale 90s iconic puppets Sooty and Sweep. Any offer accepted, I just want them off my hands.

Sometimes I call the number on missing dog posters and just bark!

R Kelly - taking the art out of rap artist

I met this girl in a pub last night, she goes " I call my fanny "The Lotto" because men are lucky to hit it" I said " Looking at you, I thought its called "The Lotto" because you keep scratching it!

Two men have been arrested and charged over the felling of the 200-year-old Sycamore Gap Tree old tree and damage part of Hadrian’s Wall. Must of been the Special Branch