Sickipedia

WHAT'S BLUE AND DOESN'T WEIGH MUCH? LIGHT BLUE

To all the decent joke posters on this site.... I always went on it before I joined and it was the best online joke site I had been on. When I joined I enjoyed it and enjoyed looking at other peoples funny jokes. But the trolls are ruining it and it shows you how bad it is when one troll tells the rest of his online troll mates to vote people down and they do. That is a fucking joke.

What's the difference between Donald Trump and a Flying pig?? The letter F.

I had my first parachute jump today and I was terrified. This guy strapped himself to me and we jumped out. As we plummited he said "So how long have you been an instructor?"

Just read a sign in a shop window... It said 'I would rather have a 1000 muslim customers than have one British soldier in my shop'... Fuckin funeral directors crack me up.

A good romance starts with trust, kindness, and mutual respect. A bad romance starts with RAH RAH AH AH AH...

I was driving through a council estate in Liverpool earlier with my mum in the car and she said "Isn't this a lovely place?".... Her tune fairly changed when we started to see cars on fire, kids drinking on street corners, police raiding houses and a birthday banner on a house that said "Happy 30th birthday Gran".

As chairman of the blind society, I've been accused of needlessly wasting money. So I've arranged a fireworks display to cheer everyone up!

Fuckin great! Eight days 'til the world cup.... ....Or if you're Italian, it's only 1627 days!

Apparently Julie Andrews will no longer be endorsing Rimmel Vibrant Shades lipstick, as she claims it breaks too easily and makes her breath smell. In a statement she said "The super colour fragile lipstick gives me halitosis!"