Sickipedia

I don't believe a fucking word Sinn Fein say anymore, Martin McGuinness is still alive... ...I seen him on MTV earlier belting out 'Bridge over troubled water'.

VAR has stopped more goals for Liverpool this season than Mignolet and Karius put together!

These fucking Americans I work with have tried to get me sacked, we were talking about fast cars and all I said was "Can't wait for the new 911.

The year is 2030 and Petr Cech is still waiting for his 200th clean sheet!

A Judge says to his dentist "Pull my tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth".

Glee star Mark Salling commits suicide, the actor was due to get sentenced in March for child porn That reminds me to watch that new film 'hangman' later on showbox.

UTV LIVE NORTHERN IRELAND NEWS..... UVF compulsive liar Gary Haggarty has admitted more crimes to his long list of supergrass charges..... .....He says he shot J.F.K and supplied the guns in the Paul Castellano hit.

A man goes to the doctor and says "Doctor, I've got 5 dicks"... doctor says "My God, how do your pants fit?"... ...man replies "Like a glove".

The woman shot dead in her car in Shropshire has been named locally as Cheryl Hooper.... ....Cheryl was overheard by neighbours pleading with the gunman "Please give the gun to Morata".

Went to the cinema in Bradford at the weekend to watch 'War of the planet of the apes', the monkeys were going mad stabbing, beating eachother and swinging from the trees - and that was before we even went into the cinema.