Sickipedia

Theresa May not invited to Harry’s wedding. That’s a bit harsh considering that she’s paying for the fucking thing !

Latest Job adverts: Trade advisor - key qualities will include not being a homophobe and misogynist. Knowledge of international business will be an advantage. Fighter Pilot - key qualities will include not being a homophobe and misogynist. Some flight training would benefit the successful candidate. F1 Driver - key qualities will include not being a homophobe and misogynist. A holder of a current UK driving licence will also be preferred.

As I opened my Peperami snack this morning I thought - That reminds me, I need to order some condoms.

Getting best joke of the day on Sickipedia is not about the quality of the joke but getting the timing right so that you post your joke when the serial downvoters are out spending their giros or disability allowance.

Transgender weightlifter Laurel Hubbard is out of the Olympics. She failed to produce a valid snatch.

Strangeways Prison football matches will be on Sky Sports if any more Premiership footballers get remanded in custody.

Whenever my grandad was doing anything he always pulled out all the stops. Fabulous bloke, terrible organist.

BBC Sport "The Premier League is set to trial a saliva test that can be used to diagnose concussion" I would imagine if you've got a load of saliva dribbling down your chin then you've probably got concussion.

I just had a pint of homeopathic lager or Fosters as it's otherwise known.

As a life long conservative voter I almost wish labour had got in at the last election. These daily press conferences with Diane Abbott would have been fucking hilarious!