Sickipedia

Old McDonald has just died... ...so there is no need for anybody to post any more shit jokes about him

Even the paki shops have run out of soap... ...oh the irony!!!

I love the Pizza Hut buffet: First, you have to go and find your own glass. Then you go and make your own drink. Next you have to find your own plate. And then go and pick up your own food. Then, when you finally get to pay you are asked by the card machine if you want to pay a tip to the waitress who has done fuck all for the whole time you were there. Brilliant.

My wife has been diagnosed with Parkinson's disease. It has completely changed our lives. Her handjobs have never been so good!!!

Why don't people in Coronation Street ever look at the TV magazines in the newsagents to find out what is going to happen to them next week?

Old McDonald has got corona virus... E I E I Cough!!!

Are the BBC rubbing it in by showing Ready Steady Cook? Like we can buy ingredients to cook meals these days...

The wife is not happy. Apparently there is now "more meat on my tiny penis than on the shelves in Sainsburys".

My grandmother currently has a very high temperature and can't breathe. It's got nothing to do with the corona virus... ...she is in the middle of being cremated.

My grandmother currently has a very high temperature and can't breathe. It's got nothing to do with the corona virus... ...she is in the middle of being cremated.