Sickipedia

My cat is a creature of habit. He's addicted to heroin.

I don't mean to sound racist. But I've got a South African accent.

There comes a time in every woman's life when she needs a little help from a plastic surgeon. But, if you're going to let your hijab slip, you're going to get a face full of acid.

I saw a video on YouTube called '10 things you didn't know about The Kardashians'. Bit of an understatement.

A 19 year old Isis fuck toy has decided she wants to come back to Britain because all the liitle terrorists she's been shitting out keep dying. Sparking anger across most of the country. If she does get back in, she's going to have to find a way to keep her face hidden.

I walked into my son's bedroom to find him hanging himself, so I quickly ran in to pull him down. Which did the job much quicker.

There's a video on YouTube where you can watch The Titanic sinking in real time. Cunts don't even try to help or anything.

I've got to attend diversity training after there were complaints made about me at work. I didn't ask who from, but I bet it was Buffalo Cunt and Shit Tits.

The singer for the band Steppenwolf has been decapitated in a motorbike accident. They found his head out on the highway.

My mum caught me having a wank today. Hell of a time for her to come out of a coma.