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oohmatron

Member since 7 years ago

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oohmatron

7 years ago-Other-Stupid-Post Rating : 11

I've just bought some Monk fish. The ungrateful cunt didn't didn't even thank me!

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oohmatron

5 years ago-Sex and Shit-Penis-Post Rating : 21

"If you're going out to stretch your legs, do me a favour." My wife said. "Sure, what?" I asked "Stretch your cock too"

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oohmatron

7 years ago-Other-Misunderstanding-Post Rating : -1

"Take me home Taxi driver." My passenger said. Why does every cunt want to go to my house then moan when we get there?

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oohmatron

6 years ago-Racism-African-Post Rating : 3

"Don't fucking call me Nigger, I'm taking this to the police!" I screamed. Apparently Africans can ring you...

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oohmatron

7 years ago-Sex and Shit-Vagina-Post Rating : -3

The new cleaning lady at work fancies me big time. I make her that wet she carries a mop around with her.

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oohmatron

7 years ago-Other-Sarcasm-Post Rating : 4

I'm sure it's just a temporary glitch but my jokes aren't getting voted up. When I see them joke of the month, I'll know it's fixed.

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7 years ago-Sex and Shit-Women-Post Rating : 3

My neighbour called me weird after catching her sunbathing naked. I'm weird? Take a look at yourself woman. Who sunbathes in the bath at 2 a.m?

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oohmatron

5 years ago-Illness and Mortality-Suicide-Post Rating : 4

I caught a depressed Zoo keeper with a Moose around his neck.

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oohmatron

6 years ago-Racism-Chinese-Post Rating : 21

My pen-pal wrote me a letter. "Hello, / am Chinese." "I get it, no need to have put a slanty I " I replied.

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oohmatron

7 years ago-Crime-Suicide Bombings-Post Rating : -1

My toaster blew up today. That's the last time I ask a Muslim to be my best man.

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