Sickipedia

I wonder if Elton John's kids were able to find a 'Happy Mother's Gay' card.

Don't tell paramedics what day it is or who's the prime minister when they ask you. They might be a Terminator!

My grandad never liked to talk about all the men he'd killed during WWII. He wasn't the Army's best cook.

I've just rugby tackled a pensioner after catching him doing a 'knock and run' Old cunt only made it 2 metres. I destroyed the shopping he'd dropped too.

I just bumped into Olivia Newton-John. I think she's getting bored of folks singing. 'Let's get into physical, Let me hear your body talk, your body talk." A fanny fart and then dropping her guts wasn't the response I was expecting!

Why should Matt Hancock's chauffer wear a mask? The government's been taking us cunts for a ride for years without hiding their faces.

My wife offered to give me a blow job after tea. We must have run out of toothpicks again.

I did my plumber mate with a shank. He's not laughing now with bits of toilet stuck in his head!

I'm making a modern day version of the Magna Carta so future generations can appreciate amazing things that happen during our lifetime. Did Marc Almond have 5 or 6 pints of spunk stomach pumped out of him and how many ribs did Prince have removed so he could blow himself off? It's hard to get wool during this Covid-19 pandemic so don't want to get things wrong.

I spam people on social media under the name of, "The BOG" Just so folks tell others they've blocked the bog and they should too.