Sickipedia

So now MY jokes are being deleted by Sickipedia admin as ‘they don’t deserve a place on the site’?! This was the joke: “This website is being abused more than Madeline McCann. Sickipedia used to be someone’s baby; cared for and cherished. Even Kate and Gerry checked on their kids occasionally.” Not the funniest I know, but scored 32, wasn’t stolen and was at least original. So it’s fine for some mong to manipulate the scores, recycle old shit and fuck up the whole place, yet I don’t deserve a space?! Fuck you Sickipedia - enjoy your collection of shit stolen by cunts. I’m off.

A mate asked me if I wanted to place a bet on a butterfly race. That's worth a flutter, I thought to myself.

Religion is basically an argument about who has the best imaginary friend.

Why is no one ever the right amount of whelmed?

ADMIN: can you make it so that if we click into a joke we don't have to go back to the top of the list when we click back?

I for one would take more notice of feminists if they put a nice dress done and wore a bit of makeup

On mother superiors orders, two nuns are painting one of the convent rooms. To avoid getting dirty, they decide to lock the door, take off their habits and paint in the nude. Shortly after they started, there was a knock at the door. "Oh my goodness, we can't let someone see us like this!" Said one of the nuns. "Find out who it is" They call through the locked door asking who is there. "It's a blind man" says the voice on the other side "He is blind, we could let him in as he won't be able to see that we are naked" says the nun. So they open the door and an old man shuffles in. He stands for a second seemingly looking at the nuns before saying... "Nice tits, where do you want these blinds?"

Two Indian women are sitting feeling nostalgic as they go through old family photo albums. The first women says "Ah there is Adbul. He was martyred five years ago now. Look at this one of Mohammed, Bless him! He was killed by the infidels almost ten years ago..." She sat with a tear in her eye. Her friend turned to her and said... "Indeed. They blow up so quickly nowadays"

How many animals got wanked off before farmers realised you could only milk some of them?

An Essex girl gets knocked off her bike and takes a nasty whack to the head. A paramedic rushes over to check her for injuries. "How many fingers have I got up?" She suddenly bursts into tears. "Fuck me, I'm a paralysed from the waist down, I can't feel any"