Sickipedia

We can learn a lot from history. Take today. I was watching Premier League classics on Sky Sports, Liverpool versus Man Utd from 1998 and discovered that Posh Spice takes it up the arse.

It has been proven that Greta Thunberg is making a real difference to climate change, as every time she comes on the TV approximately 1 million people switch it off.

Does anybody know where Bruce Springsteen was born?

Prince Harry has compared growing up in the Royal family to living in a zoo, which ironically is where he met his wife.

What happened to little Alfie Evans was terrible and his parents went through hell. I'm delighted they now have a new son and wish them well. That said, I am a little disturbed that after spending all day at hospital watching little Alfie die a slow and merciless death, they went home and fucked each others brains out.

I don't usually like to blame referee's but he clearly cost Scotland that game today. I thought things were going pretty well for them until he blew that whistle at 2.00pm to start the match.

Boris Johnson has been proved right already. The Irish backstop was fucking useless at Lords.

Finally some good news from The EU. As my stools have been tested to contain a minimum 60% blood they are allowing me to sell them as Black Puddings.

Michael O'Leary has come under international condemnation for charging 178 Ryanair passengers an additional £49 each for an unscheduled sight seeing stop in Belarus.

Harry and Meghan are named on Time magazine's list of the ‘world’s 100 most influential people’, and quite right in my opinion. They have certainly convinced me beyond any doubt that they are a right pair of cunts.