Sickipedia

No wonder New Zealand looked tired , it’s probably taken them all week to learn that dance routine

If I had a pound for every gender there is these days , I’d have £2

Scotsman , Irish man and a welsh man walk into a bar , there’s usually an English bloke with them but he’s still in Japan

The wife’s pregnant at the minute and keeps getting pissed off I sneak out to the pub after work , she just rung me up puffing and panting like she’s been out looking for me again . “Where are you , you prick” I said “I’m in the pub “ She said “our daughter is on her way “ , I said “nice try , but she’s underage they won’t let her in”

What’s the difference between Halloween and Christmas ?? It’s not a joke I’m only asking coz Asda don’t seem to fucking know either

What’s Prince Andrew and Robert miles got in common?? They’ve both done children

In light of Phillip Schofield shock announcement this morning , Piers Morgan has just come out as a cunt

That new John Lewis advert is a bit unrealistic ?! I mean dragons and talking snowmen and singing birds I can deal with that but a ginger kid with a mate ?..... Fuck off

Going off that match tonight I don’t know who’s got that motor neurone disease ? Steph haughton or her fucking husband

Singer “Duffy” was drugged, raped and held captive for days ..... wonder if she was begging for mercy