Sickipedia

I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you're looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money... but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that will be the end of it - I will not look for you, I will not pursue you... but if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you... and I will kill you..... you black cunt

Going off that match tonight I don’t know who’s got that motor neurone disease ? Steph haughton or her fucking husband

No wonder New Zealand looked tired , it’s probably taken them all week to learn that dance routine

Scotsman , Irish man and a welsh man walk into a bar , there’s usually an English bloke with them but he’s still in Japan

The wife’s pregnant at the minute and keeps getting pissed off I sneak out to the pub after work , she just rung me up puffing and panting like she’s been out looking for me again . “Where are you , you prick” I said “I’m in the pub “ She said “our daughter is on her way “ , I said “nice try , but she’s underage they won’t let her in”

If I had a pound for every gender there is these days , I’d have £2

What’s the difference between Halloween and Christmas ?? It’s not a joke I’m only asking coz Asda don’t seem to fucking know either

That new John Lewis advert is a bit unrealistic ?! I mean dragons and talking snowmen and singing birds I can deal with that but a ginger kid with a mate ?..... Fuck off

What’s Prince Andrew and Robert miles got in common?? They’ve both done children

Derek achorah’s wife has announced that he has passed away this morning and she is said to be shocked and saddened , if he were any good he could have told her last week and give her the heads up