Sickipedia

Scotsman , Irish man and a welsh man walk into a bar , there’s usually an English bloke with them but he’s still in Japan

If I had a pound for every gender there is these days , I’d have £2

In light of Phillip Schofield shock announcement this morning , Piers Morgan has just come out as a cunt

Singer “Duffy” was drugged, raped and held captive for days ..... wonder if she was begging for mercy

Derek achorah’s wife has announced that he has passed away this morning and she is said to be shocked and saddened , if he were any good he could have told her last week and give her the heads up

What’s Prince Andrew and Robert miles got in common?? They’ve both done children

Quazimodo goes into a Pakastani Brothel, he asks how much for a shag, the woman says £12.50, he replied "I only have a Tenner," so she tells him to fuck off. He goes to a White Brothel and it's only £10.00 so he does the deed. 7 years later he bumps into a kid with a hump and the kid says "You're my Dad and it's all your fault I have a hump." Quazy says "Count yourself lucky, if I'd had another £2.50 you'd be a Fuckin Paki"

That new John Lewis advert is a bit unrealistic ?! I mean dragons and talking snowmen and singing birds I can deal with that but a ginger kid with a mate ?..... Fuck off

What’s the difference between Halloween and Christmas ?? It’s not a joke I’m only asking coz Asda don’t seem to fucking know either

The wife’s pregnant at the minute and keeps getting pissed off I sneak out to the pub after work , she just rung me up puffing and panting like she’s been out looking for me again . “Where are you , you prick” I said “I’m in the pub “ She said “our daughter is on her way “ , I said “nice try , but she’s underage they won’t let her in”