Sickipedia

Hitler walked into a bar and ordered a pint of Stella. The bartender, who was gay and Jewish, said to him, "Fuck off you cunt." Hitler said, "Do you know who the fuck I am? Now get me a pint of Stella you faggot kike." The bartender called out, "Security!" Along came a big black man, who said to Hitler in a London accent, "Check it blud, you'd better leave right now before I shank you innit." Hitler replied, "Well, it is nice to see a nigger with a job for once" before pulling out a Glock 19, shooting the bartender in the head and telling the black guy, "Now fuck off back to the cotton field." Well, the black guy was terrified and he ran away. So Hitler then went behind the counter to pour his own beer, while in the distance an Allied bomber crashed into a tall building, which later collapsed. As Hitler was drinking his beer a member of the Gestapo walked in, noticed Hitler and joined him, and soon started bragging about having recently abducted, raped and murdered a woman after falsely arresting her. Then Hitler went home, ordered a chop suey from Ching Chong’s takeaway, ate it then went into the basement to have a sesh with favourite underage girl: Anne Frank. The end.

What do cars and machetes have in common? They are both good for running through bunches of Insulate Britain protesters with.

I don't spell two well, but I really, really should of paid more attention in French at school. I'm thinking: "Je n'écris pas deux bien, mais je vraiment, vraiment de dû payé plus d'attention en français à école?"

What goes "woim"? A cat talking backwards.

I was listening to the song "Up" by the Saturdays and I thought, "I'm glad these girls aren't from Yorkshire." (Eeeee bah gum)

Wasp's son approached me in the pub and said, "If you buy me a pint I'll let you take me behind the wheelie bins outside and fuck me up the arse!" Oh gay...

Wasp's son chases rings like Sonic the Hedgehog.

If the US and China went to war, I can imagine the Chinese going "We will never cylinder!"

You couldn't make it up... I don't know how popular the online comedian Pat Condell is in the Sickipedia community but I've seen his videos, in which he seems just as inclined to ridicule feminism and "woke" identity politics as you lot. Well, apparently some bloke called George Trail recently sent him a tweet in which he "insulted" him by saying he looked like a lesbian (where the hell did he get that idea!?). I know this because Pat has retweeted this on his Twitter account (patcondell) - he was sensible enough to treat it as a dumb, crude and senseless insult rather than as a personal attack grounded in sexual identity. If you go on Pat's Twitter account today here's a thread leading from it, in which someone has already said to Pat, "Report him to Twitter for presuming your gender!"

Recently I finally got the chance to punch a Member of Parliament in the face when these fuckers so richly deserve it. And when it hit I heard him go "MP!"