Sickipedia

The wife suggested if I was bored during lockdown, to make a bird table. Now she's kicking off because I've only put her in fifth place..

Not much coverage of Peter Alliss dying? Some might ask, Alliss? Alliss? Who the fuck is Alliss?

A Wimbledon commentator said tonight.. "The future of British Tennis has never been brighter..!" Wtf.. I'm 56, out of shape and not played Tennis for 20 years.. I happened to pick up a cheap racket in Sports Direct this morning, waft it about a bit in the shop and due to the CCTV footage, I'm now ranked 4th in the UK.

How do gritter lorry drivers get to work?

It's time now America brought their retired professionals back to sort out this virus mess... Like doctors, nurses, Barack Obama. ..

In a royal statement, apparently the new baby "cannot be named yet for legal reasons." Fuck me, has it already committed a crime?

I tried to impress my new girlfriend by pressing my foot hard down on the pedal.. just my luck though.. She'd already seen a bin lid flip up before.

Just been for my annual check up with my GP who suggested I need an earring made. What a strange thing to say..

I'm not saying my life's shit, but I'm getting less votes on sickipedia than Jeremy Corbyn did in the election.

Unbelievable how the labour party have finally all come together today to support the great North run. I've never seen so many chickens and clowns. (Credit strype for the idea)