Sickipedia

So Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland stay at home and England are out. Sounds more like the World Cup Finals.

Even Leicester City scored more than New Zealand.

Amazon's delivery service is amazing. I ordered a trampoline earlier today, and within 10 minutes they'd delivered it to my back garden.

Breaking news: Man dies after overdosing on viagra. His wife took it very hard.

Those blind footballers in The Paralympics are amazing. One of them hit the post earlier, although it wasn't the ball, it was his head, and his teammate kicked the fuck out of an English morris dancer.

Sky News: Domino's Pizza finance boss David Bauernfeind dies in 'tragic accident'. I hope he didn't top himself.

Eyelashes. They are designed to keep things out of your eyes, yet 95% of the time that something gets in your eye, it's a fucking eyelash.

Last night I had a dream that came true. I dreamt that I was awake, and when I woke up, I was.

White privilege - n - (wiy-t / pri-vil-lid-j) informal. When blacks don't know how to behave themselves and try to shift the blame onto white people.

In a strange turn of events from Downing Street, it surfaces that Boris Johnson actually can organise a piss up.