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My muslim neighbour brought a lamb home the other day and last night I caught him shagging it in his back garden. "Abdul, you can't do that", I shouted, but he told me to fuck off because it was islam and he can do whatever the fuck he wants.
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This time of year is always a good time to have a walk round your local Tesco and tell muslims to, "Never do your shopping on an empty stomach."
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My ex was called Dawn. The one morning I woke up with my head on her arse cheek and I thought to myself, "I've just woken up at the crack of dawn".
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Ireland 0-1 England (Declan Rice). First we stole their potatoes, then we stole their Rice.
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Breaking News; Phil Foden leaves England training camp to deal with urgent family matter. Couldn't he have just waited 'til Sunday and gone back with rest of the squad?
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Do gay vegans still eat sausage?
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Wales, "I didn't just walk out of The World Cup, Iran".
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Monkeypox has been declared a global health emergency. It is mainly spread by homosexual men having unprotected sex. So now, you can officially get bummed to death.
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Shift your feet out the way.
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