Sickipedia

There once was a coke head called Flack Who gave her boyfriend a bit of a slap And when she got caught To avoid going to court She topped herself; simple as that!!

Sure, white people can't say the "N word" but at least we can say phrases like, "Thanks for the warning, Officer" and, "Hey, Dad."

So Tom Hanks has the Coronavirus, big wow, isolation is not gonna bother him 1 bit. Cunt lived on a desert island for fuck knows how many years on his own.

So Marvel Comics will introduce a female Muslim superhero who can fly. Which is handy, since she's not allowed to drive.

Man stabbed to death in Welsh seaside resort that is setting for BBC sitcom Gavin & Stacey. I was really really fucking happy for a moment until I found out it wasn't that fat cunt James Cordon.

Driver 'blows up' car with 'excessive' use of air freshener. Guessing he wasn't a Paki then..

What do you call a fat Chinese prostitute? Chun Ki Ho.

New golf course opens, very big, very posh. All the rich white folk are there, suddenly in walks a black man. Walks upto the reception desk and says "Me want to join de golf course", the receptionist looks horrified "Im sorry we are a new respectable club, if you go out of the main gate, turn right and 5 minutes down the road is the old golf course, they take anyone". "No you not understand me, I want to join dis 'ere golf course" said the black guy. "And you're not understanding me!" said the receptionist angrily; 'Out the main gate, turn right and 5 minutes down the road is the old golf course, they take anyone!". "You no understand, I is Usain Bolt, worlds fastest man, I'm wanting to join dis 'ere club!" said the black man. The receptionist looks shocked and says "Im sorry Mr Bolt I never recognised you, how silly of me; IT'S 2 MINUTES DOWN THE FUCKING ROAD!".

Question 1: If you knew a woman who was pregnant, Who had 8 kids already, Three who were deaf, Two who were blind, One mentally retarded, And she had syphilis, Would you recommend that she undergoes an abortion? Read the next question before looking at the response for this one. Question 2: It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts.. Here are the facts about the three candidates. Candidate A: Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes And drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day. Candidate B: He was kicked out of office twice, Sleeps until noon, Used opium in college And drinks a quart of whiskey every evening. Candidate C: He is a decorated war hero, He's a vegetarian, Doesn't smoke, Drinks an occasional beer And never committed adultery. Which of these candidates would be your choice? Decide first ... No peeking, and then scroll down for the response. Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt. Candidate B is Winston Churchill. Candidate C is Adolph Hitler. And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion question: If you said YES, you just killed Beethoven. Pretty interesting isn't it? Makes a person think before judging someone. Remember: Amateurs ... Built the ark. Professionals ... Built the Titanic

What's the difference between a Kangaroo & a Kangaroot? One's a Marsupial, the other is a Geordie stuck in a lift....